I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
