He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
