When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
