She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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