I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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