Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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