haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am available for nakedness
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
