Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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