Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
