Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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