Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just want to make out with him forever
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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