pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
