She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
