And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
