This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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