well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
