Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
