so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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