if you like me you must not know who I am
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
