Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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