It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
