She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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