ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
