I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
