so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
