Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My liver just had a heart attack.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
