did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
