woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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