butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
