Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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