I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
