I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I could fuck to npr.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
