i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
