There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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