You can't motorboat a personality
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
