is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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