if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
