i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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