escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
