Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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