Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
