i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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