your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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