even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
