i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
