basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
