After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
