New invention idea: vibrating tampons
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
foreskin is a definite game changer
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
