giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
