i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
