This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Houston, we have a blender
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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