Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
