Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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